WORLD DOMINATION!
by Kokoro Daisuke
Summary: *FIFTH AND FINAL CHAPTER NOW UP* Kharl 'accidentally' creates an army of 42 million chibi Garfakcys bent on world domination.
1. WORLD DOMINATION!

**Chapter 1 - WORLD DOMINATION!**

  
The day was an unusual one to say the least. The faeries had become unusually rude and had departed from their usual swearing and obscene gesture, and had taken up mooning instead. The cookies he had attempted to bake burned, resulting in a minor kitchen fire (of course, nothing Windex couldn't solve). And on top of it all, Kharl has locked himself away with his work and hadn't shown himself all day.  
  
Which is why it surprised the midget human when the words, "GARFAKCY, COME HERE FOR A MINUTE!" rang through his ears. Or it could have been because Kharl was yelling in his ear.  
  
"I'm right here, Kharl-sama," Garfakcy replied, amazed at the stunning volume of sheer loud his master could achieve.  
  
"Oh goody!" Kharl smiled, jumping up and down and clapping his hands together. "There's something I want you to see."  
  
Garfakcy raised a non-existent eyebrow.  
  
"Come this way." The alchemist led the tiny human into the room. "See?"  
  
In a pen in the middle of the room sat an exact copy of Garfakcy. Er, almost exact, to be exact.  
  
"It's me! But…not me…it's…" Garfakcy paused and from somewhere within his pants, pulled out a copy of "The Big Book of Anime and Manga Terms." "It's a chibi me!"  
  
"Exactly!" Kharl glowed with pride and Garfakcy had to don a pair of sunglasses. "Isn't he so cute?"  
  
The Renkin wizard bent down to pet the chibi, but quickly retracted when it snapped at him and popped up a very rude finger.  
  
"WORLD DOMINATION!" it squeaked, somewhere between rage and glee, and waved BOTH of its rude fingers in the air.  
  
"It's so…naughty." Garfakcy averted his eyes as the chibi proceeded to moon them. "Kharl-sama, are you sure you didn't create a faerie instead?"  
  
"Quite positive," Kharl replied, petting the chibi Garfakcy over the head. He completely ignored the various four letter words that were shot in his direction.  
  
"But…but HOW?!?!"  
  
"Oh, that's simple." From somewhere behind a large potted plant the youkai wheeled out a large contraption that could have been mistaken for one of those x-ray machines at the airport. (You know, one of those things that you put your luggage on and it goes FLASH and makes those funny machine noises, and it you look at those little T.V. things the security guard is staring at when the bags go through, you can see people's UNDERPANTS in their bag, but then the guard catches you and beats you stupid because he's a meanie…)  
  
"All you have to do is press the BIG RED BUTTON." Kharl then proceeded to press THE BIG RED BUTTON on the contraption. "And then a chibi Garfakcy comes out!" And thusly, another small chibi rolled out of the machine and onto the floor.  
  
"WORLD DOMINATION!" it squeaked, joining the other chibi.  
  
"See? If you press THE BIG RED BUTTOM a lot of times, you get a lot of chibi Garfakcys!" Kharl then proceeded to hammer the button at least a dozen times. A dozen chibi Garfakcys tumbled out onto the floor. "Wheeee! Lots and lots of chibi Garfakcys!"  
  
"Kharl-sama, hold it! STOP!"  
  
Kharl paid no heed. He (apparently) was having too much fun pressing THE BIG RED BUTTON. Chibi Garfakcys began to outnumber air molecules.  
  
"Kharl-sama, stop! Enough chibi mes!"   
  
The alchemist looked up, then slowly removed his finger from the button. Chibi Garfakcys continued to pour out.  
  
Air molecules: 30 million  
Chibi Garfakcys: 33 million and counting.  
  
"Hm. It appears as if the button is stuck…"  
  
"WHAT?!?!?" Garfakcy cried, struggling against the current of chibis.  
  
"Not to worry though, I can fix it!" Kharl replied reassuringly, pulling a screwdriver out of hammer space.  
  
"I sure hope so!" Garfakcy muttered, smacking a chibi upside the head and sending it flying through the air.  
  
"WORLD DOMINATION!" it squeaked mid-flight.  
  
The chibi hit the wall, and suddenly everything became silent. The 42 million chibi Garfakcys that now filled the room stopped and got into a sort of huddle, whispering things to one another. Their only audible words were, "world domination."  
  
"Ah, Garfakcy, I think I've got it fixed!"  
  
There was no response, as in the 42 milliseconds between Kharl's announcement and the chibi's huddle, Garfakcy had been tied and gagged by a wave of chibi hims.  
  
"Mmmmfff! MFFF-MMMFMFMF!!! (translation: Help! KHARL-SAMA!)" Garfakcy cried as the chibis proceeded to grab him and make a beeline for the solid rock wall.  
  
In a matter of seconds, the solid rock wall had a gaping hole in it. The chibis spewed out of the castle and out into the land of Dusis, Garfakcy their hostage. Their cries of, 'WORLD DOMINATION,' echoing throughout the land.  
  
"Oh, splendid, Garfakcy, look, the chibis have stopped! Garfakcy??"  


**Chapter 1…END**

  
  
On the next chapter - The Dragon Knights get thrown into the mix. More chaos ensues. 


	2. FASTER WORLD DOMINATION!

**

Chapter 2 – FASTER WORLD DOMINATION!

** "Your Highness!" The Dragon Officer of White, Alfeegi, skittered down the vast marble hallways of the castle at full speed and barreled towards the Dragon Lord, who had been hoping to sneak out for the day.  
  
"What is it, Alfeegi?" Lykouleon asked, seeing the concerned looked painted across the man's face.  
  
"Sit down, sire, this may come as a bit of a shock." Graciously Lykouleon motioned to a table and two chairs that had magically appeared in the middle of the hallway. Alfeegi sat down, only a little perturbed that he hadn't noticed anything like THAT happen before.  
  
"Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?"  
  
"Lykouleon, our borders are being invaded."  
  
"Invaded?" The Dragon Lord did not appear phased. "Feh, as if THAT'S anything new."  
  
"Not by youkai, your Highness."  
  
"Then by who?"  
  
Alfeegi opened his mouth to answer, but not before another voice, that of Kaistern of Blue, rang through the corridor.  
  
"LYKOULEON! LYKOULEO-ARGH!!!" The officer was cut off as Ruwalk gracefully ran him over, dark hair flying out behind him.  
  
"Lord…Lykouleon…" the Yellow Officer panted, brushing a few stray wisps of hair from his vision. "The arrangements…for your escape…have been ma-" Ruwalk stopped mid-sentence upon seeing a very pissed Alfeegi and a trampled Kaistern glaring at him. "Oh, hello Alfeegi. Kaistern. I was just…"  
  
**"HIS HIGHNESS WILL NOT BE ESCAPING TODAY, DO YOU HEAR ME RUWALK? HE HAS VERY IMPORTANT MATTERS TO ATTEND TO, BECAUSE FOR YOUR INFORMATION, OUR BORDERS ARE BEING INVADED BY MINIATURE COPIES OF THAT DRATTED HUMAN, GARFAKCY!"**  
  
Lykouleon removed the earplugs from his ears and turned to Alfeegi. "Miniature Garfakcys? You mean like…" The Lord, much to the surprise of all four secretaries present, stood up and from his pants pulled a copy of, "The Big Book of Anime and Manga Terms." "You mean like chibis?"  
  
"Exactly, you Highness," Alfeegi replied, shooting a few deadly glares at Ruwalk.  
  
"That is what I bring you word of as well, my Lord," Kaistern continued, peeling himself off of the floor and dusting himself off. "I've just received news from our allies, they too have been attacked by these…" Kaistern stopped for a moment and took a quick glance at the still open. "The Big Book of Anime and Manga Terms." "Hentais."  
  
"Come again?" Alfeegi asked, shoving a Q-tip halfway up his ear canal to make sure he heard Kaistern correctly.  
  
"I think the term you're searching for is 'bakas', Kaistern." Ruwalk said matter of factually.  
  
"Actually, they're called chibis."  
  
"So what are we going to do about these mangas, your Highness?" Ruwalk asked.  
  
"I think the best thing to do is to ask the Knights to take care of them," Alfeegi put in.  
  
"But my Lord, I think the better course of action would be to have Rath, Thatz, and Rune take care of them," Kaistern objected.  
  
"I would have to agree with Kaistern, Alfeegi. We should send the Knights to take care of them. I think I'll go fetch them now."  
  
Ruwalk and Kaistern nodded in agreement and left, leaving the White Secretary alone once more in the hall.  
  
"WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?!?!"  


*

  
"Why do WE have to go and slay the Yaoi Garfakcys anyways?" Rath complained as he and the other two Dragon Knights trudged down the path to Chantel, sword slung over his shoulder unceremoniously. "I mean, they're not youkai, so they can't possibly be any fun to kill!"  
  
"As long as we're getting paid for this, I'm happy," Thatz grumbled to himself, trying to ignore the grumbling his own stomach was doing.  
  
"I think they're called chibi Garfakcys, Rath…" Rune put in, pulling a copy of "The Big Book of Anime and Manga Terms" from his own pair of pants.  
  
"Oh whatever," the Knight of Fire moaned, obviously not happy that he wouldn't be kicking any youkai butt that day.  
  
"Hey. Do you guys hear that?" Thatz asked, cocking an ear  
  
. "Thatz, I KNOW you're hungry, but we can eat once we reach Chantel! We've got a job to do!" Rune sighed, brandishing a mallet that must too have come from within his pants.   
  
"No, I hear it too. It sounds like an army of 42 million chibi Garfakcys stampeding this way with the real Garfakcy as their hostage after they swarmed over and nearly obliterated Chantel," Rath pointed out, but was quickly silenced with a wordless threat from Rune's magical mallet. "Of course I could be wrong, but I'm not, because I think that's them coming right now!"  
  
Right on cue, an army of 42 million chibi Garfakcys stampede that way with the real Garfakcy as their hostage after they had swarmed over and nearly obliterated the city of Chantel.  
  
"WORLD DOMINATION!!" the entire mass of chibi Garfakcys squeaked.  
  
"MmmmFMMM mmm MffM MmmMmf!!! (translation: Do something, you stupid Dragons!)" shouted Garfakcy.  
  
"CHAAARGE!!!!" the three Knights shouted, armor magically donned and swords held high. The fought valiantly for about 42 and a half seconds before they were swarmed over, gagged, and tied to a tree.  
  
Save the mumbles of a disgruntled Garfakcy, there was complete and utter silence. Then, with one chibi shout of glee, all 42 million of them popped both rude fingers up in the air and proceeded to do a victory dance.  
  
"FASTER WORLD DOMINATION!" they squeaked joyfully before they once more stampeded off in the direction of Draqueen.  
  
"Wow, there sure are a lot of these bishoujo Garfakcys!" Rath exclaimed, spitting his gag out. "I'm gonna count them! One, two, three, four…"  
  
"Well, you've gotta hand it to them…" Thatz muttered, spitting out his own gag. "They sure are more qualified than Nadil ever was…"  
  
"Wow, 42 million chibi Garfakcys! Didn't I tell ya, Rune? Rune?"  
  
"Shut-up Rath. Just shut-up."  
**

Chapter 2…END

**  
On the next chapter: Kharl and the Dragon Knights join forces. 


	3. That Thingy That You Thought Would Never...

**Chapter 3 – That Thingy That You Thought Would Never Happen But Did Anyways**

  
"Garfakcy? Garfakcy? Dammit, Garfakcy, where have you gotten off to?" Kharl cried, pacing down the corridors of the castle. It was to no avail. No sign of Garfakcy could be found. He wasn't in the refrigerator, he wasn't in the bread box, not in the mop bucket. By good golly gosh, he wasn't even in the watering can. The alchemist was beginning to become slightly frustrated.   
  
"Garfakcy, where are you when I need you?" he sighed, sitting down inside his lab…thingy once more. "Oh, hello! When did that LARGE GAPING HOLE get there? I sure don't remember having Garfakcy install it. Hey, wit a second!"  
  
Getting down on his hands and knees, Kharl began to examine the rubble surrounding his brand new LARGE GAPING HOLE.  
  
"Judging by the shape of these little rock fragments…and the size of the hole…AND the approximately 42 million sets of chibi Garfakcy tracks leading outside, I would have to say that…"  
  
There was a long, dramatic pause.  
  
"Garfakcy was abducted by aliens while he was installing the LARGE GAPING HOLE IN THE WALL!"  
  
"Try again genius…"  
  
"Who said that?" Kharl exclaimed, looking around suspiciously.  
  
"The voice in your pants…"  
  
"Oh, hello there!" Kharl grinned, casting a quick glance down at his pants. (Hey, look, it rhymed! Glance and pants! Like, oh my gawd, I didn't even plan it that way!!11!one!) "Haven't heard from you in a while!"  
  
"Likewise. Anyways, Garfakcy hasn't been abducted by aliens, baka!"  
  
"He hasn't?"  
  
"NO! He was taken hostage by the legions of chibi Garfakcys!"  
  
"OH MY GAWD!" Kharl gasped. "Do you know what this means? Right Bird, we must rescue Garfakcy!"  
  
The Renkin wizard held out his arm, waiting for Right Bird to alight upon it…but nothing happened.  
  
"Right Bird? Right Bird? Oh sporks, Right Bird, not you, too!" Kharl was about to go into a full fledged panic, but a certain rustling in his pants convinced him otherwise. "Oh, of course!"  
  
From somewhere in his pants, the youkai alchemist pulled a very traumatized looking Right bird.  
  
"Come, Right Bird! We shall go rescue Garfakcy!"  
  
And with that, Right Bird alighted from the LARGE GAPING HOLE, Kharl in tow, and flew off into the distance.  


*

  
"42 bottles of beer on the wall, 42 bottles of beeeeeeeeeeer!"  
  
"Hey Rune? Rune? I'm hungry…"  
  
"If one of those bottles should happen to fall, 87 bottles on beer on the wall…"  
  
"Rune. I'm hungry. Run. I'm hungry. Rune. I'm hungry."  
  
"87 bottles of beer on the wall, 87 bottles of beeeeeeeeeeer!"  
  
"I'm hungry, Rune. I'm hungry, Rune. I'm hungry, Rune…."  
  
"If one of those bottles should happen to fall, 28 bottles of beer on the wall…"  
  
"Ruuuuuuuuuuune!!!"  
  
"SHUT-UP, BOTH YOU YOU!!!" Rune screamed. Magically his mallet appeared from his pants and floating threateningly before the other two Dragon Knights.  
  
"I KNEW IT!" Thatz exclaimed.  
  
"What? That Rune's mallet could float?"  
  
"No! I KNEW he kept his mallet in his pants! Gee, I wonder what else is in there…"  
  
Upon hearing that comment, both Thatz and Rath received a solid bonk over the head.  
  
"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT-UP! AND IT'S NAME IS MR. CHUCKLES!"  
  
"What?" Rath asked.  
  
"Erm, never mind," Rune replied, waving him off.  
  
"Okay then…geez, I wonder how that stick got shoved up his ass…" Thatz muttered.  
  
"Well judging by how we've all been tied to this tree for hours and hours, I wouldn't be surprised if he actually had a stick up his ass…" Rath commented.  
  
"I wonder how long we've been here? It must be dinner time by now!"  
  
"And think of all the demons I could have slain!"  
  
"Someone just kill me now…" Rune muttered.  
  
You know, Rune must have been magical or something (actually he IS magical, because he's an elf and he can heal people with his magically elfy healy powers that go all sparkly and magical when he uses them, but that's another story all together…) because right as those words left his mouth, a certain Renkin wizard came plummeting from the sky, beaning the blonde elf over the head.   
  
"Hey, look Thatz, isn't that Kharl?! He's a youkai, right? I wonder if I could just get to my sword…"  
  
Thatz wasn't listening. Instead he was poking Kharl with his pinky toe. "You think he's dead?"  
  
"No. But I think Rune is," Rath replied, motioning to the red stuff that was trickling down the Water Dragon Knight's face.  
  
"No, no, I think the impact just popped that ketchup packet he always has in his hair."  
  
"Oh, okay!"  
  
"Ohhh…that hurt like a mother…" Kharl muttered, sitting up and rubbing his head.  
  
"Hey, look, Thatz, he's coming too!"  
  
"Damned Right Bird…dropping me from that high. Really, I only weigh about *** pounds…" (a certain alchemist has asked me to omit this information. But really, isn't it only us girls that don't want people to know their weight? Or could it be…KHARL IS A GIRL?!? Oh wait, no, no…maybe I should ask Garfakcy. He should know! Oh wait, no, no, he's tied up and being dragged towards Draqueen by a legion of 42 million chibi Garfakcys. I guess we'll just have to wait. What was I talking about again?)  
  
"YOUKAIIII!!!!" Rath's eyes were red with rage. Or maybe Rune's ketchup.  
  
"No, hold it, Rath!" Thatz stopped the other knight from drawing his sword magically from his pants with his toes. "He could know something about the Pocky (Kokoro Daisuke does not own, nor does she claim to own the wonderful snack food that is Pocky) Garfakcys!"  
  
"You mean the chibi Garfakcys..." Kharl corrected, sitting up and straightening out his lederhosen.   
  
"Erm, yeah, whatever, do you know anything about the chibi Garfakcys?"   
  
The scene had suddenly gone dark, and magically a light bulb had appeared over Kharl's head as Thatz began to interrogate him.  
  
"They kidnapped Garfakcy, which is why I MUST STOP THEM!"  
  
"You want to stop them too?" Rath suddenly had changed his mind about slaying Kharl with a sword wielded by his toes. "That's neat, because they want to take over the world, and that's a bad thing, which is why WE MUST STOP THEM TOO!"  
  
"Really?" Kharl looked fascinated. "So, you want to join forces?"  
  
"Okay!" The two conscious Dragon Knights smiled.  
  
"Splendid! So, you want to help me off my ass?"  
  
The two knights obliged, and with their toes helped Kharl off of his ass.  
  
"So, you want to untie us?"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
And so Kharl obliged and untied the Dragon Knights. Without the use of his toes. And so that thingy that you thought would never happen did happen, and the Renkin wizard Kharl and the dragon Knights joined forces in order to save Dusis (and one certain Garfakcy) from the clutches of the hoards of megalomaniacal chibis.  
  
And just because this wasn't in this chapter, the chibi Garfakcys decided to randomly squeak, "WORLD DOMINATION!"  
  
**

Chapter 3 END

**  
On the next chapter: The chibi Garfakcys storm the castle of Draqueen…or whatever that place is called. 


	4. The Day the Chibis Stormed the Castle of...

**

Chapter 4 – The Day the Chibis Stormed the Castle of Draqueen, Or Whatever That Place is Called  
OR  
That Chapter With the Really Stinking Long Name

**  
  
"Remind me again WHY THE HELL we joined forces with this guy?" Rune grumbled as the Dragon Knights and one certain Renkin Wizard traveled the road that lead to the Dragon capital of Draqueen.  
  
"Because we need to save Dusis from being taken over by a legion of 42 million chibi Garfakcys!" Rath replied, though his pinky toes were itching to take up a sword and slay some youkai at that very moment.  
  
"And the Dragon Lord may be in danger!" Thatz put in.  
  
"And I have to save my Garfakcy Snuggle Bunny from the crazy chibis!" Kharl added, a wistful look crossing his face. He soon received several alarmed glances from the three Knights. "Uhm…so…we've got to stop them?"  
  
"Psycho," Rune muttered.  
  
"Child molester," Thatz grumbled.  
  
"Youkai," Rath stated resolutely.  


*

  
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!  
  
There was something slamming itself against the door of the Castle of Draqueen. Or, more a large legion of something were slamming themselves against the door of the Castle of Draqueen. Or whatever that place is called. (minor details)  
  
"Your Highness," Tetheus had magically appeared by the desk of the Dragon Lord that dark, dark day. He would have been highly concerned and somewhat stressed out from the going ons of the day, but seeing as he was Tetheus and he had no soul, he wasn't. "I'm afraid to report that the chibis have found their way here. They're trying to break down the door to the palace, it seems."  
  
"Which is only stating the obvious…" Kaistern muttered dryly. Lykouleon only nodded.  
  
"What do you propose we do, Tetheus?" the Dragon Lord asked, worry wrought on his face. "Seeing as you're the head of security and you have no soul…"  
  
Somewhere behind them, Kaistern snickered, but only until a large book entitled, "The Big Book of Anime and Manga Terms" beaned him over the head.  
  
"Well, as the soulless head of security, I propose we pile as many economy sized bottles of ketchup in front of the door, sing "the Doom Song" (© Invader ZIM) as loud as we possibly can, and pray they don't get in.  
  
There was a moment of united silence. The other four men in the room stared at the Black Officer for a moment. That is, until Lykouleon spoke up.  
  
"THAT'S BRILLIANT!!!" the Dragon Lord declared. "Alfeegi, Ruwalk, Kaistern, find all of the economy sized bottles of ketchup in the castle!"  
  
"Uhm…you're Highness…" Alfeegi blinked.  
  
"Not now, Alfeegi!" Lykouleon replied. He was already searching the room for ketchup. "We must make haste before they weaken the door further! Hurry now!"  
  
"Whatever you say, Lykouleon…" Ruwalk muttered, leaving with the other secretaries.  


*

"Are we there yet?" Rath asked.  
  
"No," Rune replied.  
  
"Are we there yet?" Rath persisted.  
  
"No," Rune replied.  
  
"Are we there yet?" Rath asked, deciding to see how many different shades of red the elf's face could turn.  
  
"No," Rune replied, achieving a stunning hue of red violet.  
  
"I'm hungry," Thatz added.  
  
"No," Rune grumbled.  
  
"I miss my Garfakcy Snuggle Bunny," Kharl whined.  
  
"Child molester," Rune glared.  
  
"Are we there yet?" Rath asked again.  
  
"No."  
  
"Are we there yet?"  
  
"NO!!!!! NO, GOSH DANGIT, WE ARE NOT THERE YET! WE WON'T BE THERE YET FOR ANOTHER HOUR OR SO, SO QUIT ASKING ME! AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE HUNGRY, OR IF YOU MISS YOUR GARFAKCY SNUGGLE BUNNY, YOU FREAKIN' CHILD MOLESTERS, SO SHADDAP!" A vein popped in Rune's head and swelled to the size of a melon.  
  
"Hey look, Rune, we're there…" Rath mumbled. The elf preformed a world class anime face plant.   
  
Magically from Kharl's pants appeared Honou, Kahaku, and Riku (or Fire, Water, and Earth, for all you poor saps who are confined to Tokyo Pop's version of Dragon Knights. Well, actually, Tokyo Pop's version isn't all that bad at all, but…what was I talking about again?), all holding signs reading '10.0.'  
  
"HEY!" Rath squawked, glaring at Kharl suspiciously. "That's where Honou went!"  
  
"Damn horny dragons…" Thatz mumbled, retrieving Riku and sticking him back in his sword.  


*

  
"DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM, DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM, DOOM DOOM DOOM, DOOM, DO-DO-DO-DOOOOOOOOM!"  
  
The song echoed through the castle, down the hallways, through the garden as the entire inhabitants of the Castle of Draqueen (or whatever that place is called) sang the Doom Song (© Invader ZIM) at the top of their Dragony lungs.  
  
"I think I can hear them breaking through!" Lykouleon insisted, clenching his fists in frustration. "We must not have enough ketchup!"  
  
From behind the door came the frightening cries of the chibi Garfakcys. "WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION!"  
  
"I don't think the door will hold much longer Lykouleon!" Kaistern cried.  
  
"Try to hold out just a bit longer!" Lykouleon cried. "I'm off to go find more ketchup!!!"  


*

  
As the three Dragon Knights and the Renkin wizard neared the door of the Castle of Draqueen (or whatever the…oh wait, we've been over this before, haven't we?) they were met with the horrifying sight of a legion of 42 million chibi Garfakcys ramming themselves into the Great Wooden Door of the Castle of Draqueen.  
  
"OHMIGAWD!" Kharl exclaimed. "How insidiously evil!"  
  
"I know!" Rune cried, donning his armor (which was so conveniently stored in his pants). "Come, we must save the Dragon Lord!"  
  
"Oh, no, it's not that," the youkai replied. "I just realized that hot dog buns come in packages of ten, while hot dogs come in package of eight! I mean, if you're gonna have an equal ratio of bun to dog, you're going to have to buy five packages of dogs and ten packages of buns! That's so evil! Do you suppose it's some sort of evil plot devised by the companies that make the dogs and the companies that make the buns to gain control of Dusis' economy and eventually claw their way to the top to accomplish their evil goal of WORLD DOMINATION?!"  
  
"WORLD DOMINATION!" the chibi Garfakcys squeaked.  
  
"Exactly, WORLD DOMINATION!" Kharl cried. "Hey, I didn't know my echo sounded like a legion of 42 million chibi Garfakcys, did you, Rath?"  
  
There was no reply.  
  
"Rath? Thatz? Rune?" Confused, the alchemist glanced around. The knights were gone.  
  
"CHAAARGE!!!!" the three Knights shouted, armor magically donned and swords held high. The fought valiantly for about 42 and a half….  
  
"HOLD UP, STOP IT!"  
  
Down the path bounced a rather familiar bag with swirly designs on it, stopping at Kharl's feet and untying itself. Inside was the severed head of the Youkai Lord, Nadil.  
  
"Oh, hello Nadil's severed head, what are you doing here?" Kharl smiled. "Did you know that hot dogs come in…"  
  
"Yes, yes, I know, you alchemist fool!" Nadil's head bounced in frustration. "I'm here to tell the mentally handicapped author that's she's done this scene already!"  
  
"I have?!" Magically the author, Kokoro, appeared in a pretty sparkly swirl of red smoke besides Nadil's head.  
  
"Yes you have, you moron!" The youkai lord's dissevered head shot an evil glare at her.  
  
"Which part?"  
  
"The part where those stupid Dragon Knights go to fight the chibi Garfakcys!"  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Where does the scene start?"  
  
Nadil's head, becoming quite agitated with the author's blinding stupidity, bellowed at the top of his lungs, which were somewhere on the other side of Dusis in his dark, gloomy, foreboding castle that was guarded by cute, fluffy bunnies, "IT STARTS WHEN THE DRAGON KNIGHTS YELL 'CHAAAAAARGE' YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL OF A TOOK!"  
  
"Really?" Kokoro looked up and scratched her head. "Are you sure, I can't find that part anywhere…hey, you stole that last line from Gandalf!"  
  
"No I didn't, it was perfectly original!" Nadil's head protested. "Now look harder, you moron!"  
  
"Fine, fine, you don't need to be rude about it…."  
  
"I'm a youkai lord, what more do you expect?"  
  
"Well youkai lords don't always have to be rude…"  
  
Meanwhile, Kharl, who had been watching the fight from a distance, turned and decided to go and assist the Dragon Knights in defeating the chibi Garfakcys.  
  
"Gee, I wonder how Smurfs can reproduce…" the Renkin Wizard scratched his head. "I mean, there's only one woman amongst them. I wonder, do they have some bizarre homosexual…"  
  
"KHARL!" Kokoro turned from Nadil's head for a moment to PMS at the alchemist. "You're supposed to be aiding the Dragon Knights, not pondering Smurf reproduction!"  
  
"Oh…" Kharl stopped for a moment and looked up at the paragraphs that proceeded this one. "Oh, right you are! Okay, I'm off now, Author Goddess Kokoro person!"  
  
"Good riddance!" was all he heard before the Author Goddess Kokoro Person's voice was drowned out by the terrifying battle cries of the chibi Garfakcys.  
  
"WORLD DOMINATION!"   
  
"Hey, look, Rune, it's Kharl!" Thatz grinned, motioned with his sword at the Renkin wizard, sending a chibi Garfakcy flying into the castle wall.  
  
"Oh goody, Kharl's here, we're all saved…" Rune groaned sarcastically whilst beating another chibi upside the head with his magical mallet, Mr. Chuckles.  
  
"Oi, Kharl, mind lending us a hand?" Rath waved.   
  
"MFFFMMMMfff mmmffffm fffmmm!" (translation: "Kharl-sama, help me!") Garfakcy cried as the swarms of chibi Garfakcys uhm….swarmed around him.  
  
"GARFAKCY SNUGGLE BUNNY!" Kharl gasped upon seeing his snuggle bunny held captive by the megalomaniacal hordes of chibis. "DON'T WORRY, I'LL SAVE YOU!"  
  
From somewhere in his pants, the Renkin wizard pulled out….  
Dun dun dun dun DUN DUN dun dun!!!  
Dun dun dunneley dun dun dun dun dun dun DUUN  
Du du du DUN du DUN dun dun dun dun  
Dunneley lun dun dun DUUN!!!!!  
Du du du du dun dun dunneley dun dun du du du du DUN!  
Dun dun dun dun du du du du dunneley du du du  
DUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!  
AN ECONOMY BOTTLE OF WINDEX!  
  
Rushing forward, economy sized bottle of Windex in hand, Kharl proceeded to nozzle the legions of chibi Garfakcy with the Windex.  
  
"What in the hell is he doing?" Thatz asked, watching the youkai continue on his war path.  
  
"I think he's dousing the chibis in…Windex," Rath oh so cleverly observed. Almost instantaneously (Oooo, big word. I feel smart when I use big words, don't you? Big words make you feel all important and smart when chances are you have the brain capacity of a thimble) the chibi Garfakcys fell into a comatose (More big words!) state, their little chibi eyes rolling into the back of their little chibi skulls as they passed out on the floor. (See? I told you there wasn't anything Windex couldn't solve. But did you believe me? Noooooo, you just though it was the stupid author going off on another one of her parentheses tangents, BUT I SHOWED YOU ALL, FOR I AM THE AUTHOR GODDESS KOKORO PERSON WHOM ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)   
  
"Oh, he could have told us that A LITTLE EARLIER!" Rune grumbled, storing Mr. Chuckles in his pants once again.  


*

  
"Never fear my loyal subjects, I have returned with more ketchup!" Lykouleon smiled as he flounced down the stairs and began piling more ketchup in front of the door.  
  
"Uhm, You Highness…" Alfeegi muttered, watching the Dragon Lord go about building funny little castles with the ketchup bottles.  
  
"Not now Alfeegi, can't you see I'm preoccupied?"  
  
"Yes, I'm aware, Lykouleon, but I can't hear the Garfakcys anymore…"  
  
"Oh, going into stealth are they?" Lykouleon looked at the Great Wooden Door of the Castle of Draqueen with suspicion. "I'll show them all!"  
  
The Dragon Lord then proceeded to begin construction of a ketchup pagoda.   
  
"Take that, you foul creatures!!"  
  
Shaking his head, the White Secretary turned and glared at Ruwalk. "Did you forget to give His Highness his medication AGAIN?!?"  
  
Ruwalk shook his head. "No, I think he's just having another one of his fits…"  
  
"Oh, okay then…" Alfeegi muttered.  
  
***Author's Note*** I believe this chapter contained more inane foolishness than all the others combined. But that's okay, for I AM the AUTHOR GODDESS KOKORO PERSON! ^^ I apologize for not updating for so long, this chapter would have come about sooner, if it were not for three things. 1) My new Gameboy Advance SP, Deus 2) My other fanfiction, Once Upon a Time 3) I've been sick for the past week. -_-; Well anyways, stay tuned for the last chapter of WORLD DOMINATION coming soon! ^^) 


	5. The Chapter to End All Chapters Literall...

**Chapter 5 – The Chapter To End All Chapters. Literally. (Man, I Crack Myself Up…)**

  
  
"LET GO OF ME, YOU FIENDS!" Hogtied and hopping on the floor amidst the unconscious forms of many a Chibi Garfakcy, was the Dragon Lord Lykouleon. He was not happy. Which means he was mad. Which means…well, uhm…he wasn't happy but he was mad. Yeah.  
  
"It's for your own good, Your Highness!" Alfeegi replied matter of factually. Ruwalk and Kaistern nodded in agreement. Tetheus would have nodded in agreement as well, but as he had no soul, he didn't.  
  
"So how did you defeat these Wai Garfakcys, anyways?" Kaistern asked, poking one curiously.  
  
"Ish Chiibi Garfakshies!" Lykouleon shouted as he began to gnaw through the magical paperclip chain that bound him.   
  
"Actually, it was thanks to Kharl that we defeated them…" Rune replied, blinking as he watched Kaistern prod the chibi. Green eyes flashing open madly, the chibi quickly awakened and latched onto the Secretary of Blue with razor sharp chibi teeth.  
  
"AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!" Kaistern screaming, flailing as he ran in circles, desperately trying to detach the fiendish chibi from his hand. "IT'S GONNA EAT ME ALIVE! AHHHH! AHHH!"  
  
Meanwhile, oblivious (as usual) to the events occurring and running in circles around him, Kharl had taken this one precious moment to untie his little servant boy, therefore freeing him from the clutches of the megalomaniacal chibis. Which means he was no longer their prisoner. Which means that he was free. Which means…  
  
Suddenly, the narration was cut off as a brick skillfully sailed through the air, tossed by none other than the dissevered head of the youkai lord, Nadil. Uhm, not quite sure how that could happen but it did because I said so, and, in a rage he hopped up to the Author Goddess Kokoro Person, anger flaming in his eyes.  
  
"YOU FOOL OF A TOOK!" he cried, having assured himself it was an original line. "You and your stupid tangents!" Hopping mad (Ha, ha, get it HOPPING?! He's a severed head, it's all he can do! Ha, ha, ha, I crack myself up sometimes…), he proceeded to PMS at the poor, writer's blocked author. "We get the point that that stupid Garfakcy is free! Now get on with the story before I have to…curse you or something!"  
  
Silently obeying the wrath of the hopping head of Nadil, the Author Goddess Kokoro Person returned to her keyboard of DOOM. And so the story commenced.  
  
"Garfakcy, snuggle bunny!" Kharl cried, throwing his arms around the dazed human and giving him a glomp worthy of a fangirl.  
  
"ACK! Kharl-sama!" Garfakcy gasped, his face turning all sorts of fun shades of blue. "I…I told you never to call me that in public!"  
  
"BUT I'M SO HAPPY YOU WEREN'T ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!" Kharl released Garfakcy for a fleeting moment (which the human took to breathe and breathe deeply) to wipe tears of happiness from his violet eyes. "I want this moment to last…forever!"  
  
Garfakcy sighed, or at least he would have before he was once more glomped by the Renkin wizard.  
  
Unfortunately for Kharl, and fortunately for Garfakcy's lungs, forever's time ran out in five minutes, when the happy couple was interrupted by the Dragon Secretary of White, Alfeegi. Behind him stood Ruwalk, Tetheus, and the Dragon Knights (because I'm too lazy to type out Rath, Thatz, and Rune…oh wait…). Behind him flailed Kaistern, who was now beating the villainous chibi with a large book stolen from the castle library entitled '101 Reasons Not to Beat a Chibi Garfakcy With a Book.' Behind him gnawed the Dragon Lord Lykouleon, intent on freeing himself from the magical paper clips of induced sanity that he had been bound with.  
  
"Youkai Alchemist, Kharl…" Alfeegi began, but not before he was interrupted.  
  
"Really? Where?' Kharl blinked, righting himself.  
  
"I was talking to you…" Alfeegi sighed as a Dragon Fighter randomly waltzed by and held up a cardboard sweat drop.  
  
"Oh yeah, huh?" Kharl grinned moronically. The Voice in His Pants sighed and would have slapped himself, were he not just a mere voice in an idiot scientist's pants.  
  
"Yes, you're Kharl, the youkai alchemist…now, please do tell us, how did you manage to defeat these…" The Chief Secretary paused for a moment as he quickly referenced the Big Book of Anime and Manga Terms. "Chibi Garfakcys."  
  
"Oh, that was easy!" Kharl smiled, holding up his index finger in an attempt to appear intelligent and matter of factual. "I….I…"  
  
"You sprayed them with Windex, Kharl-sama…" Garfakcy reminded him, holding up a copy of the last chapter. "Because, and I quote 'there's nothing Windex couldn't solve.'"  
  
"Oh, yes, of course, thank-you, Garfakcy," Kharl grinned, petting the human on his multi-colored head. "I sprayed them with Windex!"  
  
"AHHH!! AHHH!! AHHHHH!!!!" Meanwhile, Kaistern continued to flail and beat the Chibi Garfakcy, completely unaware that within the pages of the book he was now using as a weapon were the words 'one should never beat a Chibi Garfakcy with a book unless one wants a visit from the elf of utter randomness.'  
  
And so dark, ominous clouds began to form behind the Dragon Officer of Blue, and from these dark ominous clouds swirled the form of ELLABEL, the elf of utter randomness. And in her divine and utter randomness, she proceeded to take a roll of magical duct tape with little swirly designs on it and tape the shocked Kaistern to the castle wall.  
  
"YOU DON'T BEAT THEM CHIBIS YOU FOO!" she cried, before laughing maniacally and jumping onto her squeaky tricycle of utter randomness and pedaling sinisterly away in a swirl of dark, ominous clouds (adjectives make me feel smart!). And thusly, a Dragon Fighter (because they're cute and they make good lackeys) approached Kaistern cautiously, and sprayed the Chibi Garfakcy with Windex. And it was good.  
  
"We thank you for your valiant efforts," Alfeegi smiled and bowed politely. "Which is why you can clean up these chibis and get the hell out of here, you idiot alchemist."  
  
"OH GOODY!" Kharl exclaimed, jumping up and down and clapping his hands together for the second time in this idiotic fanfiction. Garfakcy sighed and from his pants summoned forth a broom and an economy chibi-sized dustpan.   
  
"Kharl-sama…I get the feeling we're going to be here for a little while…" he sighed, watching with much dislike as the Dragon that he disliked so very very much approaching Kaistern. Then, using the very scientific and well-known principle of the light and dark sides of duct tape, (which states if you persuade the duct tape to be good and not so evil instead of not good and completely utterly evil, it's light sticky side will flip outwards, therefore freeing the victim of the duct tape's sticky goodness) to free the Secretary of Foreign Affairs. Or whatever Tokyo Pop decided to call him in the last volume they translated.  
  
"Really, we're only going to be here for a little while?" Kharl asked, quite thoroughly happied. "I thought we might be cleaning up for a while, actually, seeing as there are 42 million of these cute little chibis and they're all strewn over the palace grounds…"  
  
Garfakcy simply sighed, shook his head, and began sweeping up chibis.  
  
"Which reminds me, how come nothing's happened to me yet? I thought that nancy Dragon Lord had a spell cast over the palace grounds that keep youkai out."  
  
And would you look at that! Just as Kharl finished his sentence, his head spontaneously ignited. And the flames were all pretty flamey colors, like red and orange and yellow, and even blue and white in places. Of course, everything started to smell kind of funny, because his hair was being singed and all….but anyways….  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHH!!!" Kharl screamed. "HELP! MY HEAD'S ON FIRE! AHHHH!!! AHHHHHH!!! SOMEONE PUT MY HEAD OUT! AHHHHHH!!!!!"  


*

  
One week later Kharl and Garfakcy sat out on the porch of Kharl's big stone castle in Arinas, quite comfortable in neon colored chaise lounges (you know, those funny chairs you can lay on at the pool or beach, and you can adjust how far they lean, but when you try to they snap and you get all folded up inside…), sipping lemonade, magical sunglasses donned.  
  
Of course Kharl's head was no longer on fire. Garfakcy had attempted to douse it with Windex, but seeing as Windex was ever so flammable, it kind of only made things worse. So they had to resort to using regular, old fashioned, old school water. Well, as I was saying, his head was kind of back to normal, it not being on fire any longer. Kharl had taken the liberty of healing the damage with fun magic. Because no one wants to see a barbequed, partially bald Renkin wizard. That might scare some fangirls away.  
  
"So Kharl-sama…" Garfakcy turned to his Master. "What DID you do with those chibis anyways?"  
  
Kharl blinked as he slowly allowed the information to process. You see Kharl's head is like a dial-up 56k connection. More reliable than cable or DSL, but rather slow as well…but anyways…  
  
"Oh!" Kharl finally replied, twenty minutes later. "I think I sent them through this interdimensioanl gateway to some place called…er, I believe it was…Urth?"  
  
"Urth?" Garfakcy blinked. "Never heard of it."  


*

  
**_Meanwhile on Urth…er, I mean, Earth…_** "WORLD DOMINATION!" was the cry that echoed throughout the lands. Chibi Garfakcy stampeded freely over the plains. Fear and anarchy reigned alongside 42 million crazed, megalomaniacal chibis that had two word vocabularies. Cities lay in ruin, people lay dead and partially devoured in the streets…did I mention fear and anarchy reigned? Oh yeah, I think I did…  
  
Well anyways, chibi Garfakcys ruled the world. People lived in fear, not knowing whether they would live to see another day, constantly fearing the destruction the stampede of strange, demented little tricolored chibis brought. And so they ruled. And they devoured Osama Bin Laden and the rest of his Al Quesa terrorist group or whatever they call themselves and Saddam Hussein, and even President George Dubuya Bush. And Osama Bin Laden and the silly Al Qaeda terrorists, and Saddam Hussein, and Dubuya were forced to share the same collective chibi stomachs in semi-digested form for all of eternity and a half, which was probably not much longer than an hour or so, seeing as them chibi digestive juices can be pretty vicious.  
  
But the fangirls were happy, for chibi Garfakcys ruled the world. And it was good.  
  


**_END_**  
  
****AUTHOR'S NOTE****: Thanks goes out to Ellabel (the elf of utter randomness) and Hiso-chan for nagging me to finish this last chapter! *bows* I really appreciate your harassing me! XDD Oh yes, and credit goes to Ellabel for introducing me to the wonderful principal of the light and dark sides of duct tape! 


End file.
